I was hoping that my lunch date with Tomas Marquez would hone my message for this article. Maybe we would discuss something that would boil down our five years together into a sentence. Or maybe Tomas would say something, a brilliant quote that I could borrow and reflect upon. Or maybe we would make a joke that I could write here to make everyone chuckle knowingly. And we did discuss things, he did have brilliant quotes and we did make jokes. But none if it could possibly come anywhere near to summing up my incredible experience mentoring students from seventh grade through their recent graduation from Lionel Wilson College Preparatory Academy.

When we started, my advisory consisted of three students who did not speak; two who were in a gang; two who always wanted to do the right thing; two who read at a first grade level (in 7th grade); two who wanted to sleep all day; and three who wanted to know everything about me. From the start, these boys opened my eyes and taught me lessons that will forever make me a better person and teacher. I learned that patience brings words to silent lips, that tough exteriors still get stained with tears, and every tough kid has a child lurking inside, looking for acceptance and worth. When I slipped up, they reminded me of things I needed to remember. They reminded me that children never forget to imitate us, that one careless comment can stick to the core of a young person’s soul, and that no matter what they called me or said to me, they wanted to be pushed to be their best and rise out of their situation and envision a positive future. In our peaks over the years, I learned that smiling at a child is 10 times more powerful than raising your voice, that laughter is a tie that binds, and that every youth deserves joy. In our valleys, I learned what my skin color has done for me in my life, the power that poverty has, and the sheer need for more adults who listen.

I first met my advisees when I was 23 years old. It was my second year teaching, and I was still building skills and confidence as a teacher. I was still working to balance a social life and the responsibilities of the classroom, which resulted in an occasional late weeknight and sleepy weekday morning. This was the point at which I started to mentor 13 urban, somewhat wayward boys through the Aspire Advisory program.

All Aspire secondary schools have Advisories, peer groups run by a teacher or community member. Advisories are a regularly scheduled time when students and mentors can talk from the heart, and lead and push and keep the students focused on the end result – college, along with the skills, habits and sense of self-worth that pursuit requires. Advisory is often a 24/7 job, especially with students whose home lives are challenging and who come to school so far behind academically that most days I would wonder how I could help them succeed.

But they did. The first grade readers made many improvements. The mute students found their voices. The two students who were in a gang continued to be lured by the street life.  One of them left the school in a better place than he started. One of them left Wilson Prep, but he still comes to see me. He has had his highs and lows.  He was in juvenile detention for a bit, after which he came to tell me, “Hey, you know when you told me I was a good reader?  Well, when I was in juvie I started to read to see if you were right.  I think you are." For me, it was an odd combination of a joyful and heart-wrenching moment.

I got some sense of how a parent must feel when I saw my advisees graduate in an emotional ceremony at Wilson Prep this past June.  I cried during the graduation practice; I didn’t even have to wait until the real event.  Graduation was an incredible culmination of collective effort, and brought an unabashed joy and the sense that the face of Oakland is changing as we send these bright, motivated young people into the world smarter and stronger.  Advisee Eddy Orozco headed off to one of the UC campuses, Sergio Rodriguez is attending community college on his way to a four-year college.  Andy Gonzalez is attending San Francisco State University, and Luis Zamora is going to Oregon State University. And Tomas? He matriculated at the University of California, Berkeley, on a scholarship.

I have been teaching seven years now, and find myself on the brink of turning 30. I have definitely grown up. But, even now, my 13 advisory students remind me that I still have growing to do. This afternoon, Tomas reminded me of the power of idealism. As he sat and told me of his plans to change Oakland, to take the world by storm and make it a better place, I smiled inside. I had come to lunch nervous about the work piled up on my coffee table, anxious to get this article written and wondering what time I could possibly get to school to make all my copies. And in the short time I talked with Tomas, I remembered what teaching was all about. My mentors, coaches and principals have taught me how to teach the standards effectively, how to provision, how to assess. My "boys" have taught me how to see into a child’s heart, how to have unshakable faith in a student’s potential and to always - no matter what they say - expect the best. For both lessons, I am extremely thankful. I can only hope to continue to have teachers like them in my life.

Megan Reed is currently a grade 5 lead teacher at Monarch Academy in Oakland. She previously taught 8th grade Humanities and served as a lead teacher at Lionel Wilson College Preparatory Academy.